It's been a while since someone really got into my prankster traps!I used to wonder was something wrong with the world or was it just me??I mean everything seemed to go on so perfectly!!But that was not for long!! I came across this "SOB" at the gym recently.He is dark(darker than anyone can possibly imagine),stupid,looks like a moron,looks like who had little or no formal education and definitely no knowledge about body building.He is a complete eye sore for a guy like me.The previous day he had pissed me off and I reacted,but as usual the people at gym intervened and ended the whole thing. This post is about the aftermath..I went to the gym the next day,it was a "Leg day" for me.The most intense workout day of the week,as I squat a hell lotta weight.I was so focused about the workout.But my bad luck(or his')!As soon as I entered,this retard showed up!
The Waking up of the Prankster
He said something to me,I couldn't hear what he said,as I was wearing my headphones and the music was blaring.So I took 'em off and asked "what?".He said,"I said Hi!!"(Actually the previous day "Gym periya manushanga ellam samathanaam padithitaanga,But I don't have the words to describe how it felt to shake hands with a person like him who was no match !!it's more than just DISGUSTING :( ) I nodded.with a blank expression.He added "so what muscle are you working out today?I thought "MF" you talkin' to me??! and after a pause I said "Legs".His reply really took me by surprise.He said "I am also working out legs today,shall we work out together?"I was totalllyyy pissed off!How dare he ask such a question??Did he think he was equal to me??Could he possibly match me??But on the other hand my prankster side woke up!!and was grinning...!!! I said "yeah,why not..?you continue I'll get changed and join you in sometime"
The 220 lbs surprise
I changed to my sleeveless.Put on my shoes.Did warm up and stretches.And I got down.This MF was talking to sum guys.I interrupted and asked what work out he was doing.He said he was gonna do leg presses.I told him I forgot his name and asked his name again.He told me his name.But I seriously don't remember it now.I didn't take the pain of registering the name of a Fucktard in my brain.I asked him "are you from proper Madurai?He nodded and said where he lived.I grinned.He asked me"why are you laughing?" .I shook my head and told "You look like a villager!!(unna paatha pattikaatan maathiri irukku!!-tamil translation for effective understanding :D ),These clothes that you wear can't hide what you really are..its so evident you are a guy who hails from a village.Please don't tell me it isn't true."I said.He stared at me and after a pause he said "no my native is Melur...."I laughed."I knew it.wasn't I right??" I said.He remind silent.I said "Okay you wanted to workout with me,right??I start with squats..."He said I ll finish this set and join you in sometime.I said okay and I went to the smith machine finished one set of squat.He came to me.I said "Come on,do".He looked at the smith machine loaded with 220 lbs!!He blinked.He was shocked :D :D .He said no "I don't do this much weight."I said "its okay I am with you I'll help!"He was persistent.He said "no,I can't squat this much weight!"I thought ya that's what I wanted to hear from you,you bitch!!.But I didn't stop at that I started forcing him.He kept saying the same thing.
Call for a lift
I was persuading him.He called a trainer and said "see he wants me to squat this much weight,you know how much i can do please tell him"the trainer said "sir,he doesn't do heavy weights."I laughed.I said to the trainer"He is always like this he can't handle anything on his own,even yesterday he went and complained to another trainer.Fit for nothing".Both the trainer and the Bit#$ knew what I was up to!I added,"he wanted to workout with me,now when I telll him to squat.He is not doing it.The trainer again said"no it's too heavy for him.He can't do that much weight."I grinned.Now the bitch interrupted.He couldn't take any more of the humiliation!!"He said "people should know their own limitations and remain where they belong and when people bite more than they can chew they lose their dignity.I retorted,"That's exactly what I wanted to tell you.."You think you and I are in the same footing??Now look who has stepped over the line and who has lost their dignity?Now the trainer left."You are no match to me.Keep that in your mind."
One-on-One
This guy was totally lost!but still he tried his best not to show it.He said "No Senthil, look.. if you get big and more muscular,you'll look like a hero.But if i do the same thing i'll look like a gunda!! Oh!ya?? I said sarcastically.And he tried talking to me in English.He sucked at it too.His English was terrible.Now I started to talk in English too!!I commented "your English is terrible man.Where did u do your schooling" he said some school in melur.I asked him "what about college?"He said "KLN".I asked "How much did u pay them??".He was getting mad!!But he tried so hard to maintain his cool!!!I asked him "what do you do??"He said "I am a counselor."I laughed oh??so about what do you guide people??He said about career,jobs...based on what are you counseling others?you studied any additional courses?He said "No.Based on my experience I guide people.""oh what experience do u have?" "I know how to communicate with people? I can find what they are really interested in.There are many ways of approaching a problem.I know how to approach!!""Oh??You mean like Neuro linguistic programming??"He asked what does that mean.(I myself didn't know what that meant and I had heard that word only sometime back before gym!!)I gave my own stupid explanation...I said it's an approach.See a glass is half filled.You can say that in two ways-the glass is half empty or..."half full" he retorted.I said very good you are fast at grasping!!He was so proud of himself!! He smiled in acknowledgement of my compliment!!(I was laughing out loud inside me!!)I mean what a moron!!!
The finishing touch
I said "anyways why are we talking.Come lets exercise!!"and I looked at the squat machine.He said,"No Senthil..." and he kept talking.I was smiling and listening to all his bullshit for a minute or two.Then I lost my patience,I said "you know what??You are starting to piss me off...I am thinking if you will be able to take my hit or will u collapse ...!!"Finally he got offended!!He said "you are gonna beat me??what are you gonna do??"In an angry tone.I said "You wana know??"And I threw my fist on him like I was gonna hit him in his face.But I didn't actually hit him.!!He got terrified and covered his body with his hands!!I laughed like the villains in old Tamil movies!! :D Look I am not gonna hit you.I just told you what I thought!!!He stared for a minute.I looked at him like a clown!!Suddenly he took out his cell phone and started talking,he gestured to me that he ll be back and walked away!!I started to workout...after some ten minutes I looked at him.He was sitting in the front desk talking to a trainer and after sometime he went into the manager's room.And was talking to him for a longtime then he went.The manager when he came out of the room looked at me and turned away.The next day a trainer calls me(he's a friend of mine) and asks"what were you talking to that guy yesterday?""nothing much was simply talking" I replied."Why did u pretend like punching him?He asked.I said nothing to that.I grinned!! He starts to advice me again "Senthil don't talk to him.You have come here to workout, please do that.Why do you wanna waste time talking to guys like him?Don't get into any quarrel with him if you don't like him just ignore him....!!!" I could guess what might have happened inside the manager's room!! Haaahahahaaaa!!! :D He still comes to the gym.But never does he dare to look at me!!and it's kinda fun to watch him workout!!I think my granny can lift more weights than him!!!He's a total clown!!
The Waking up of the Prankster
He said something to me,I couldn't hear what he said,as I was wearing my headphones and the music was blaring.So I took 'em off and asked "what?".He said,"I said Hi!!"(Actually the previous day "Gym periya manushanga ellam samathanaam padithitaanga,But I don't have the words to describe how it felt to shake hands with a person like him who was no match !!it's more than just DISGUSTING :( ) I nodded.with a blank expression.He added "so what muscle are you working out today?I thought "MF" you talkin' to me??! and after a pause I said "Legs".His reply really took me by surprise.He said "I am also working out legs today,shall we work out together?"I was totalllyyy pissed off!How dare he ask such a question??Did he think he was equal to me??Could he possibly match me??But on the other hand my prankster side woke up!!and was grinning...!!! I said "yeah,why not..?you continue I'll get changed and join you in sometime"
The 220 lbs surprise
I changed to my sleeveless.Put on my shoes.Did warm up and stretches.And I got down.This MF was talking to sum guys.I interrupted and asked what work out he was doing.He said he was gonna do leg presses.I told him I forgot his name and asked his name again.He told me his name.But I seriously don't remember it now.I didn't take the pain of registering the name of a Fucktard in my brain.I asked him "are you from proper Madurai?He nodded and said where he lived.I grinned.He asked me"why are you laughing?" .I shook my head and told "You look like a villager!!(unna paatha pattikaatan maathiri irukku!!-tamil translation for effective understanding :D ),These clothes that you wear can't hide what you really are..its so evident you are a guy who hails from a village.Please don't tell me it isn't true."I said.He stared at me and after a pause he said "no my native is Melur...."I laughed."I knew it.wasn't I right??" I said.He remind silent.I said "Okay you wanted to workout with me,right??I start with squats..."He said I ll finish this set and join you in sometime.I said okay and I went to the smith machine finished one set of squat.He came to me.I said "Come on,do".He looked at the smith machine loaded with 220 lbs!!He blinked.He was shocked :D :D .He said no "I don't do this much weight."I said "its okay I am with you I'll help!"He was persistent.He said "no,I can't squat this much weight!"I thought ya that's what I wanted to hear from you,you bitch!!.But I didn't stop at that I started forcing him.He kept saying the same thing.
Call for a lift
I was persuading him.He called a trainer and said "see he wants me to squat this much weight,you know how much i can do please tell him"the trainer said "sir,he doesn't do heavy weights."I laughed.I said to the trainer"He is always like this he can't handle anything on his own,even yesterday he went and complained to another trainer.Fit for nothing".Both the trainer and the Bit#$ knew what I was up to!I added,"he wanted to workout with me,now when I telll him to squat.He is not doing it.The trainer again said"no it's too heavy for him.He can't do that much weight."I grinned.Now the bitch interrupted.He couldn't take any more of the humiliation!!"He said "people should know their own limitations and remain where they belong and when people bite more than they can chew they lose their dignity.I retorted,"That's exactly what I wanted to tell you.."You think you and I are in the same footing??Now look who has stepped over the line and who has lost their dignity?Now the trainer left."You are no match to me.Keep that in your mind."
One-on-One
This guy was totally lost!but still he tried his best not to show it.He said "No Senthil, look.. if you get big and more muscular,you'll look like a hero.But if i do the same thing i'll look like a gunda!! Oh!ya?? I said sarcastically.And he tried talking to me in English.He sucked at it too.His English was terrible.Now I started to talk in English too!!I commented "your English is terrible man.Where did u do your schooling" he said some school in melur.I asked him "what about college?"He said "KLN".I asked "How much did u pay them??".He was getting mad!!But he tried so hard to maintain his cool!!!I asked him "what do you do??"He said "I am a counselor."I laughed oh??so about what do you guide people??He said about career,jobs...based on what are you counseling others?you studied any additional courses?He said "No.Based on my experience I guide people.""oh what experience do u have?" "I know how to communicate with people? I can find what they are really interested in.There are many ways of approaching a problem.I know how to approach!!""Oh??You mean like Neuro linguistic programming??"He asked what does that mean.(I myself didn't know what that meant and I had heard that word only sometime back before gym!!)I gave my own stupid explanation...I said it's an approach.See a glass is half filled.You can say that in two ways-the glass is half empty or..."half full" he retorted.I said very good you are fast at grasping!!He was so proud of himself!! He smiled in acknowledgement of my compliment!!(I was laughing out loud inside me!!)I mean what a moron!!!
The finishing touch
I said "anyways why are we talking.Come lets exercise!!"and I looked at the squat machine.He said,"No Senthil..." and he kept talking.I was smiling and listening to all his bullshit for a minute or two.Then I lost my patience,I said "you know what??You are starting to piss me off...I am thinking if you will be able to take my hit or will u collapse ...!!"Finally he got offended!!He said "you are gonna beat me??what are you gonna do??"In an angry tone.I said "You wana know??"And I threw my fist on him like I was gonna hit him in his face.But I didn't actually hit him.!!He got terrified and covered his body with his hands!!I laughed like the villains in old Tamil movies!! :D Look I am not gonna hit you.I just told you what I thought!!!He stared for a minute.I looked at him like a clown!!Suddenly he took out his cell phone and started talking,he gestured to me that he ll be back and walked away!!I started to workout...after some ten minutes I looked at him.He was sitting in the front desk talking to a trainer and after sometime he went into the manager's room.And was talking to him for a longtime then he went.The manager when he came out of the room looked at me and turned away.The next day a trainer calls me(he's a friend of mine) and asks"what were you talking to that guy yesterday?""nothing much was simply talking" I replied."Why did u pretend like punching him?He asked.I said nothing to that.I grinned!! He starts to advice me again "Senthil don't talk to him.You have come here to workout, please do that.Why do you wanna waste time talking to guys like him?Don't get into any quarrel with him if you don't like him just ignore him....!!!" I could guess what might have happened inside the manager's room!! Haaahahahaaaa!!! :D He still comes to the gym.But never does he dare to look at me!!and it's kinda fun to watch him workout!!I think my granny can lift more weights than him!!!He's a total clown!!
I think after a few more posts on the same topic, you can start a diploma course on irritating people and offer it to the public.
ReplyDeleteheheheee!!ya sure mam..ellam ungal aasi!! :P
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