Poems written for "A girl I'll never understand"

" Your look sets my heart on fire,

Your indifference freezes me to death..."

***************

You hid the love you have for me,

behind a carefully constructed facade.

The reason for which, only you and God know...

***************

They tell me about phoenix,

They don't know how much you've hurt me

In spite of which I keep coming back to you every time...

Notice of Migration..!

I have decided to post my stories only on Wattpad. This blog will continue to remain active but it won't have my stories or poems. If you want to check out my stories please copy and paste the following link:

https://www.wattpad.com/478224778-a-girl-i%27ll-never-understand-chapter-1-aftermath

I 've started writing a new story series titled "A girl I'll never understand". It's a story about high school love. The following is the blurb of my story,

Is it true that  Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus? Are they really so different from each other? In this story Aisha, an easily offended  girl and Shiva, a thick-skinned guy meet up at a school. Shiva likes her but he doesn't know if she likes him back. She doesn't makes it easier for him either.

With a turn of events promising him nothing encouraging, the question still prevails, what does a girl really mean when she says no?

Aaromale, my beloved // Chapter 2 - Flashes

The flashes from the cameras almost blinded me, the  photographers didn't seem like they were going to stop anytime soon. I was forced to put on my shades to reduce the impact on my eyes. Gurumann was briefing me on how to politely proceed with the meeting . He  knew that I was like a volcano ready to erupt anytime. I was so distracted  by Avishka's presence, that I wasn't able to pay any attention to Gurumann. I couldn't stop myself from glaring at Avishka. He seemed relaxed and displayed  his Asian championship belt on his left shoulder, which actually  should have been mine. "Fucking cockroach!" I muttered. "Did you even hear a single word I said?!" Gurumann asked in an exasperated  tone of voice.

  "I am… I am" I said. Avishka squinted at me while the promoters were presenting the reporters with the match details. He was 32 years old, had a dusky complexion, was muscular and had a Mohawk with a beard. His looks were intriguing, but this is not a Street fight and neither am I an amateur to be intimidated by these theatrical gimmicks! Appearances matter the least inside the ring. I knew that this clown was not comfortable in his own skin. I knew it because the bastard would not look me in the eye for more than a few seconds at a time, I could sniff his insecurities from yards away. During our last fight, while the referee listed the rules of the match, we were glaring  at each other like two dogs inside a pit, who are going to maul each other, it was at that moment that I noticed him turn away for a second. That one gesture spoke volumes, I knew that I would beat him. Eyes. they tell you a lot of things about a person.

"We'll start with Avishka," a reporter in the front said, "Avishka, how does it feel to hold Asia's greatest title? Did you believe that you would own it today if not for the accident?" I snickered. "It has been my dream to eventually hold this title one day, and obviously I am so glad that my dream has finally been realized. As for your other question. Yes, you idiots seem to  think that it was because of freak luck that I won this match but I'll prove it to each and everyone that it wasn't. You guys seem to have forgotten that  I  became the number one contender and have the most number of KO's in the last two seasons, more than your hero here". "But Dhruvah was in a hiatus then", the reporter didn't seem to give up. "There are no ifs and buts , don't give me your analysis, I've defeated him and the referee raised my hands up. If that's not enough then wait till December."

" Dhruvah, Dhruvah ..."  A bunch of reporters yelled at me  "one at a time please" Gurumann requested. A woman reporter shot her question at me "Dhruvah everyone knew how the fight progressed and who would have won, if it were not for the accident, how do you look at it?" "Well! That one fight gave me insomnia, but if you look at the bigger picture we Tamilians are used to being low-blowed. We have witnessed backstabbing on several occasions, just take a look at our history! Nothing is new and sadly nothing has changed. But now my heart is fixated with the upcoming match. I want to make  a statement this time, not just win the match" "Dhruvah, do you think that you can regain your title, fighting a mighty opponent like Avishka?" A reporter hurriedly raised a question. " Yes! there you are, I was expecting for at least one moron to show up from the league. I tell you! I don't give a damn how many pounds he weighs, you all saw me roasting him last time. He's got no technique and his footwork sucks. He can probably visit  Chennai to learn proper boxing. Our kids will be more than happy to teach him, but he'll have to give them guruthakshana and  fall at their feet!" saying that, I grinned. Gurumann shook his head in disapproval. Boiling with anger Avishka stood up from his chair and roared at me.

"The sport doesn't need trash like you,  I'll make  arrangements for a proper send off  after it's all over" I shouted. Pandemonium erupted. Gurumann was trying to pull me away from approaching Avishka, "in the ring, in the ring, not here!!!" he shouted. The bouncers came in between us. Unable to control the fury, I threw my shoe at him, it hit him right on the cheek !! He got into a frenzy, and screamed like a mad man, punched a couple of bouncers and tried to approach me but somehow they managed to make him leave after some more commotion. "I ll make sure this will be your last fight" Avishka screamed at the top of his lungs as he stepped down. "Poda baadu" I retorted, showing him my middle finger. Gurumann looked at me with a straight face "Dhruvah , Dhruvah, why won't you ever listen to me? Sometimes you behave like a teenager" he said. I didn't bother answering him, I was content that he was humiliated in front of everyone. The beast inside me was chuckling. "You better leave I have to speak with the promoters" he said.

When I left the building it was raining quite heavily. There were puddles of water scattered here and there. The rain water and moisture had condensed on the window of my car. I kept driving, quiet satisfied with the proceedings at the conference. There weren't many vehicles on the road as it was past 10 P.M. and also because it was raining. My sound system was playing "Kanmani, anbodu" an evergreen Ilayaraja hit! Suddenly, from nowhere a bike drove alongside me, it was a sports model bike, two guys were on it and I could see in my rear view mirror that another bike was fast approaching, some punks were holding a bike race in the rain.

The first bike overtook me and the other guy was trying hard to catch up. I had a feeling that either one of those punks were going to die tonight. Then out of nowhere a puppy appeared right in the middle of the road, it was probably trying to cross the road and the two bikes had scared it frozen. Whimpering, it stood in the middle of the road perplexed! I pulled the brakes as I myself drove at a high speed. My car wobbled, skirted, and then totally went out of control and ran over the median. Finally, it lay topsy - turvy. The airbag protected my head but something had hit my ribs, I felt a hot sharp pain searing through my left leg and there were scratches all across my body. My favorite car was ruined. Well, at least the puppy was safe, I thought to myself. So, I lay there in the middle of nowhere, inside a car that was lying upside down with the music system playing "Ninaivo oru paravai" by Illayaraja. My vision slowly dimmed, things were turning black... I wondered 'Am I dying?' Its the last thing I remember thinking....


- To be continued

Aaromale, my beloved // Chapter 1 - Redemption

The traffic lights just turned to amber as I approached the stop line. As a law abiding citizen should I stop or go?!! "To be or not be"?!! After musing briefly for a couple of seconds, I concluded that I should stop.  This happens with me many times, especially when I am scheduled to be at a place at a specific time and am running late. In fact, I was late for my very first inter-university boxing match which was one of the most crucial nights in the history of my life. I can never forget how my coach bellowed at me as he hit me on the head in front of the entire squad! Yes, I am late most of the times and I don't regret it, not anymore. I've gotten used to the feeling.

My music system played the song "Kings never die" by Eminem which boomed and resonated within my car as I waited in the traffic trapped at the junction. The signal displayed 300 seconds for the lights to turn green. I looked out through the window into an evening that was lit up with the colorful lights of nearby shops. The road was congested. On the pavement, I saw a mother spank her little boy for not wearing his jerkin. He protested a bit but with convincing hand of yet another spank he put it on hesitantly.

I was already able to visualize Avishka de Silva at the Madison boxing hall, sitting on the dais along with the promoters and his manager, with a row of microphones lined up before him and a swarm of journalists all fired up and ready to raise all sorts of questions about the re-match. The thought of his name alone made my blood boil. A deep sense of repugnance filled my heart. The look in his eyes when they announced him to be the winner made me hate him all the more. I could not somehow convince myself to look at this particular match as just a sport. The hatred between the Sri Lankan government and us the Tamilians has been ever growing since the war. After witnessing the ruthless genocides, atrocities and the humiliation inflicted upon the Sri Lankan Tamils, by the Sinhalese government, anyone would agree that nothing could remain the same between us anymore.

I remembered our last fight, how in spite of Gurumann's repeated warning I went at him like a bull that was released from "vaadivasal" and  annihilated him with my blows. The beast that was silently lurking in the depths of the abyss of my heart had somehow broken all the shackles and surfaced that evening. Unfortunately, in spite of everything I delivered, Avishka managed to seize the title from me that night with his cheap moves. During the fifth round, I was going all out on him with consecutive punches. He very slyly moved near one of the poles and dodged one of my punches which made my hand ram straight into the pole! The demonic velocity with which i intended to punch him resulted in me almost fracturing my right wrist. It was so swollen that my hand had gone numb yet I had to continue fighting the bastard with just one hand for the next 5 rounds. I pondered, if it had always been this way when it came to the fights between us. The Sinhalese weren't ashamed to use unethical moves.

"You are lucky in a way" Gurumann consoled me after the fight. "Looking at your aggression, I thought you were going to murder him and end your boxing career" They can only cancel my boxing license and impose a huge penalty. A trial for murder was out of the question, as the terms of the agreement made it clear that if death ensues while inside the ring that no legal proceedings would be entertained.Gurumann Singh is my coach. He has been with me for the past 7 years of my fighting career. He is of an average height, muscular, has a dense beard and looks quite young for a 50 year old guy.

As I thought about everything I clenched the wheel of my Audi car in sense of frustration. My cell phone buzzed. It was Gurumann, it was late, no wonder he called. The traffic lights turned green, so I didn't bother to pick up his call as I was driving straight to the Madison boxing hall for the press conference to see my adversary once again.

- To be continued

Sharakkah, the warrior and Roki (part 3) - The Last stand

High above the kingdom of Clebia, the rumbling sounds of thunder could be heard, accompanied by violent gusts of wind.  The seven half decayed bodies which had earlier been trying to get out of their burial mounds, now knelt at the foot of another proudly standing corpse with their foreheads touching the ground, "I, Lord Asura have returned to this world seeking vengeance and retribution for the death of me and my soldiers" he bellowed in a menacing voice, "Sharakkah ! You can run but cannot hide, by next sunset I will squash you and hurl your soul out of this world" he roared. The nearby mountains echoed his words and trembled.  The seven corpses roared in approval of Asura's statement and the squad began their march towards Grenecia.

The witch doctor Wayde muttered barely audible incantations in a melodramatic manner as he touched Roki's head and blew air onto his face. His body and his hair, including his eye brows were white as snow. He had a slim built body and a voice that was hoarse. "Will he be all right doctor?" Sharakkah asked in a concerned tone of voice. "No! His condition will only worsen" Wayde replied in a snide tone of voice. Sharakkah's exasperation catapulted hearing the doctor's indifferent reply. Sensing the despair of the situation, Taiki intervened, "Sir, can you please tell us what the problem is? We are very much concerned. Roki was absolutely normal and suddenly for no apparent reason in a matter of a few moments he became unconscious". Wayde, looked at Taiki and then glanced at Sharakkah. Seeing the frustration in the face of the 7 feet tall warrior he didn't want to push his luck any further. So he opened up "You see sir, our ancestors believed that Dragons were the personal carriers of the angels. They believed that a dragon could see Satan and was blessed with the strength to absorb evil force. Now looking at Roki's condition I am sure that a very bad element is out there that wants to hurt your son . I have a feeling that it is wrathful, abominable, seeking vengeance and definitely doesn't  belong to this world. I am guessing it is already dead and has been tormented in hell for quite some time now. Yet somehow it is not able to come to terms with itself and wants to seek revenge. Our big friend here has sensed it and has tried more than he can to protect his master and has paid the price. If it were not for Roki you're son here could have started to feel the negative impacts in the form of sickness by this time, making conditions only worse"

On hearing this Sharakkah was shocked. A chill ran down his spine and for the first time in his life fear seemed to have  presented itself  before his mind's eye. "Is there anything that you could do to help us?" Taiki asked in a nervous tone. For a moment Wayde looked into the skies and closed his eyes. "There is only one way my friend. Your son must do what he does best. Fight."

Baffled by what he had just heard Taiki asked "But you say they are already dead?"

"Yes" Wayde replied with a straight face. 

He took a  rope necklace from his pouch which had a shiny yellow oval shaped stone in it. "This stone is made from the tears of the angels. It will protect your son from the evil that has crawled out from the dark pits of hell. Fear not for fortune favours the bold" he said in a re-assuring tone of voice."Even though it's a full moon night for the next 24 hours the valkyries will be monitoring everything. Let us hope that the courageous win, and the corrupt perish. Will Roki recover? asked Taiki . "Once the damned are deported to where they belong he'll recoup do not worry, now it's your son's life that you should be worried about" On hearing this Xosha started crying. Satan watched Asura stride towards Grenecia with rage emanating from his half decayed body. All he wanted was Sharakkah's heart. The same heart that didn't kneel down before the fear and lust fabricated by the master of deception, Satan.  It was the only condition on which Satan paroled Asura and his personal bodyguards. He had promised them life, riches and abundance. Though the bounty placed upon Sharakkah's head was substantial the little squad would do it for free for they  loathed Sharakkah for what he had done to their dreams and aspiration. If it wasn't for him Asura would have been the ruler of the entire Angolian world. It was the deviation of what they got, from what they wanted that made their souls emit hatred like the suns that emitted heat.

Sharakkah headed in the direction, pointed out to him by the doctor. He wore the necklace that was given to him along with his armour. Carried his huge sword in one hand and a shield in the other. He encased his katak in his boots as a supplement to his sword and the battle axe in a belt that he wore along his torso.  On his way a huge thunder bolt struck the ground before him and that was when he saw Asura marching towards him with his seven personal bodyguards. He was able to recall him now.  Years ago he had confronted Asura on behalf of King Czar. It turned into the worst blood bath ever following which he killed Asura and everyone related to him. "You??" Sharakkah  snarled at Asura.  The later didn't say  a word but gave him a cold stare. "Wow! You look prettier than you used to. I am sure our women would fall for your beauty special treatment in hell huh?.. So what brings you and your boys to this world?" Sharakkah asked in a mocking manner with a grin on his face.

"Nothing, just running errands" Asura sneered. "That great heart which is beating within your rib-cage is wanted by the Devil himself " "Heart?! what use has it got for that scoundrel?" said Sharakkah and pounced on Asura like a Tiger hunting a Deer. Asura grabbed him by his throat and used his leg to thrust him aside. Sharakkah rolled and fell a few feet away. The body guards formed a barrier in front of Asura. The valkyries encircled the field. The tension was mounting and hung heavy in the air… Sharakkah looked at the skies and screamed at the top of his lungs, " Do you want my heart? You bastard! Take a look at what I'll do to you if we ever meet" Sharakkah's anger had escalated to the highest magnitude. He clenched his teeth, clasped his hands and yelled at Asura, calling him names, when all of hell broke loose ….
                                     
                                                 ***********

It was a warm early morning, the sun had just begun to rise. Sharakkah had just woken up. He went to the entrance of his house and sat there with sleep still sticking to his eyes. He saw Roki straighten his spine like structures which were lined along his backbone and hissing at a cow. The cow got petrified and mooed trying to move away in a frenzy. Sharakkah smiled and said "No, Roki that's not how you attract cows, you do that to girls of your kind only!"

The End

Sharakkah, the warrior and Roki (part 2) - Aberration

I am seated on Roki, and we are gliding above the dense clouds, flying across green  pastures that have a  creek which resembles a giant serpent. The view is beautiful from up here. We are on top of the world, above all the commotions of human existence. The wind is blowing in my face. This feels like bliss! This is Elysium! Even the gods would feel jealous of me!

Suddenly I heard a sound! Something has just hit Roki and he is squealing in pain. I feel shocked. "What is it Roki?" I exclaim anxiously. He growls and  shrieks at me. I am trying to take a look at what hit him. The weather is not serene anymore. The sky has suddenly turned red, a fiery shade of red. I can feel that the temperature is getting hotter and hotter. Roki no longer has control over his wings. He is wobbling and unsteady. He is beginning to pass out. Up and down and side to side, we are wavering as Roki struggles to remain air borne. I begin to wonder if this is the end? I suddenly hear a loud hysterical laugh from the sky! Who is it I wonder. My little brother has lost control of his wings; he has stopped flapping them and is no longer even growling. He has passed out. And we are now plummeting. Down. Down. Down. Faster we fall. Faster than any arrow that is shot from a crossbow. I know that I am going to die. I feel a sudden and irrelevant feeling of calmness amidst this turmoil. I feel euphoric. It feels strange. I can hear people talking. I can feel the softness of my bed beneath me. Is this a dream I wonder.

It is raining and I can hear the rumbling sound of thunder. I am at the entrance of a cave. I hear screaming sounds coming from inside the cave. I am running towards the noise. Valkyries are burning! Their giant bodies have been set on fire, their wings chopped, with their hands and legs tied. One of them screams at me "Be ware! Sharakkah! Be Ready" Is this a dream I wonder yet again. If it is then why can’t I get up?

I can hear papa talking. So it must be a dream. I want to wake up but I am not able to. This is agonizing! Depressing! I am trying hard to wake up but it is so difficult. I feel trapped.

Phew! I woke up. I can feel that my breathing is heavy.  What should I be wary of? Was it just a dream? It felt so real. I am confused.

                                                    ******

The Duo had just returned victoriously from yet another battle. It was that time of the year when the soldiers rested in order to recuperate from their wounds. This was to be followed by a big feast to be arranged by King Czar, in celebration of his army's victory. It used to feel like a time of vacation for Sharakkah but this year he hadn’t been very lucky, he had sustained some injuries here and there although nothing was really fatal enough to cause concern.

It was on a bright and sunny afternoon. Taiki was perusing through Sharakkah's weaponry diligently in order to find out the ones which were holding good and separate them from the ones that needed to be replaced and the ones that needed to be sent to the black smith for mending. Taiki noticed that his shield needed to be replaced though his armour  and helmet which had horns like structures were holding good.

The Katar, basically a small three-bladed push dagger, one of Taiki's favourites, was in perfect condition as it was fairly new. He observed the beauty of the weapon and   praised the black smith in his mind for his craftsmanship. The sword  needed to be sharpened, he observed. He muttered under his breathe, ‘I've told this boy a hundred times to wash the sword  thoroughly after a battle, the blood stains have become dry and are stuck , the smell is malodorous.’ He always felt that weapons were a soldier's best companions in times of war. He would trust a sword more than his fellow soldier. And so he believed that it was the duty of a good soldier to keep his weapons in perfect condition at all times.

After he had finished washing the sword he observed that it was time to make a new "Bagh Nakh",an iron claw like weapon that Sharakkah  sometimes preferred wearing on his left hand. The Bagh Nakh always came in handy while on the battle field. It could be used to make superficial cuts on the enemy. This weapon also served as a complement to any weapon. His crossbow and arrows were fine. Lastly, he found that the battle axe needed some work on its grip as it was softening. All the while Xosha was busy cooking the brunch for the family.

Sharakkah was basking in the afternoon sun, lying there covered in a loin cloth. The oil which he had applied on his body to serve as a lotion helped to emphasize his huge muscles, making them shine. His two trapezius muscles protruded like miniature hills on either sides of his neck. He had big, bulky shoulders which looked like smooth balls and which fit snugly under his trapezius muscles. His huge arms and wide chest could scare his enemies from a distance. His small waist made his upper body resemble the letter "V". He had brown curly hair, and small eyes, that sometimes disappeared when he laughed, a somewhat blunt nose , and a perfect smile . He stood at a height of almost 7 feet with a dusky complexion. There were many scars all over his body which he carried as souvenirs from the battlefields. These  scars testified his mettle.

While his family members were engrossed in their respective activities there was a loud thud! Roki fell on the ground and lay unconscious. A few moments ago he was there in his paddock relaxing and the next he lay on the ground like a log, lifeless. Panic shook their bodies like an earthquake. "Roki! Roki!" Sharakkah shouted as he shook his torso trying to wake him. Taiki tried to feed the monster some water but the creature woudn’t move. "I better send for the witch doctor - Wayde "said Xosha in a tensed voice. Sharakkah was appalled. He had never seen Roki like this in all the time that they had spent together growing up and fighting in battlefields. That was when he was reminded of his awful nightmare.

“It looks like a very bad omen" said Taiki in a sad voice after listening to Sharakkah's narration of  his dream. "Valkyries are haughty, righteous angels who fly above battle fields. They decide who to send to Elysium, which is the Heaven and who to send to Narak, Hell. They also ensure that the rules of war are followed, breaking the rules was a sin" Taiki added. They both remained silent for a while, lost for words. Sharakkah looked at Roki's face which showed no improvement while they awaited the arrival of Wayde.

Far away in the graves of Cleabia, there was a strange vibration from within the ground. The wind rustled forcefully. In a matter of few moments, the vibration intensified. A half decayed hand protruded from the ground! Clearly a buried corpse was trying to awake from his long slumber.   This was followed by 7 more hands which protruded out in a similar fashion from nearby burials mounts.  And from that moment forward things never remained the same for everyone. 

 
- End of part 2/3


Bagh Nakh